How to Call Samaritans When Struggling to Explain How you Feel – Read On

You have been told your whole life to suck it up, keep your chin up, and stop making a fuss. Men do not show emotion, right? So when you hit breaking point, you are supposed to just absorb it.

Now you are sitting there with the Samaritans number (116 123) punched into your phone, staring at the screen, and you cannot bring yourself to press call.

Why? Because your head is full of heavy, grey static, and you have no idea how to put what you are actually feeling into words that make sense. How do you explain that you are drowning when you have spent years pretending you can swim?

Here is what you need to know before you thumb that button.

You do not need a speech. You do not need to sound articulate, smart, or calm, or brave, and you definitely do not need to explain the whole history of why you feel like this. You don’t have to explain or justify anything to the person at the other end. They aren’t there to judge or mock.

Research into crisis communication shows that when men reach out for help, the hardest part is breaking the initial silence, not the conversation itself.

The moment you say out loud that you are struggling, even if it comes out clumsy or angry or broken, the physical weight in your chest shifts. Getting it out of your head and into the air takes away its power to keep whispering that you are a failure.

Research by British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy found that 70% of men only decide to reach out for help when they’re at breaking point – when things get hard don’t bottle it up.

Dial 116 123 For Help Today

Call a the Samaritans on 116 123, or text SHOUT to 85258, or call your GP, if you have a best mate, a colleague at work you trust, a football pal or a golfing buddy, an old school friend, anyone – talk. Let it out. Don’t let it define your future. Remember when you hit dial:

When the stranger on the other end answers, you do not have to start with a grand statement. You can literally just say this:

“I am struggling to say this, and I do not really know where to start.”

That is it. That is enough.

A trained listener on that line is not grading your performance. They are not going to judge you, rush you, or tell you to cheer up. These guys are used to silence, they are used to heavy breathing, and they are used to blokes who have no idea how to describe the massive knot in their stomach.

They will sit in the quiet with you until you find your footing.

You do not have to carry the whole world on your own shoulders just because some outdated rulebook told you that real men suffer in silence. Dropping the weight for five minutes does not make you weak. It just means you are finally refusing to let the pressure win.

Take a breath, press the button, and just say the first thing that comes to mind. You can’t say the wrong thing – say anything and let them listen.

• Samaritans: Call 116 123 for free, confidential support twenty-four hours a day.
• SHOUT Crisis Text Service: Text SHOUT to 85258 for free, confidential, text-based support anytime.
• Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM): Call 0800 58 58 58 (open 5pm to midnight every day) or use their webchat at thecalmzone.net.
• Emergency Services: Call 999 if you or someone else is in immediate physical danger.